Meh....I am not feeling very braggy right now. Too much bad shit is going on around me for me to feel very awesome. A guy I work with just died, a girl I work with was just cheated on, another girl I work with just lost a parent, another is dealing with her sister who just had a stroke, and my boss was just demoted to my job. I tried thinking of things to boost my spirits. This post could have been a great opportunity for me to turn that frown upside down, but instead I keep thinking about things that I am good at that aren't necessarily good things.
For example, I am really good at pretending that I like my job. I don't like it at all. I am really good at making my employees think that I care about my job. I don't. I have a great defense mechinism that consists of being cold and harsh. I pretend that I am some tough cookie, but I am not. People think that I am really good at customer service which is great because it is my job, but I hate pretty much every customer that I come in contact with.
Actually, something good did come out of this. I just reinforced that my job is what is keeping me from being happy and being myself. Okay, lets try this again.
Something to brag about. What was I good at before my life was consumed by work? I am great at public speaking, acting, memorizing things, teaching, thinking, loving, laughing, empathizing, being objective, eating popcorn and singing. I should listen to myself more often.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
What I am good at
I had a hard time coming up with something for this topic. I am pretty good at a lot of things, but nothing remarkable that would make for an interesting blog. I realized though that there is something that I do better than most. I forget a LOT of things.
I forget movies right after I see them, I forget where I put things, and if you ask me to remember something for you, there is a pretty good chance I won't. The key to being able to forget anything is to always be in a thought process of your own. For example, if we are getting ready to go somewhere and I see an empty box of vegetables on the counter, I will consider whether I have eaten enough vegetables and dairy that day which will lead me to wonder if ice cream counts as a dairy serving when it is so sweet but it might count because cats would eat it and I like cats although I will not likely own one because I like dogs better even though they bark like the ones that live next door but that may all be in how you raise them just like children are a product of their environment and will I be a good mom? This is only an abridged example of a possible thought process but you can see how if you ask me to get some toilet paper at the store while this is going on in my head, I might forget.
I do this pretty much all day every day, especially when I am tired, hungry, or full. The moral of the story is, be sure that I am paying attention if you ask me for something.
I forget movies right after I see them, I forget where I put things, and if you ask me to remember something for you, there is a pretty good chance I won't. The key to being able to forget anything is to always be in a thought process of your own. For example, if we are getting ready to go somewhere and I see an empty box of vegetables on the counter, I will consider whether I have eaten enough vegetables and dairy that day which will lead me to wonder if ice cream counts as a dairy serving when it is so sweet but it might count because cats would eat it and I like cats although I will not likely own one because I like dogs better even though they bark like the ones that live next door but that may all be in how you raise them just like children are a product of their environment and will I be a good mom? This is only an abridged example of a possible thought process but you can see how if you ask me to get some toilet paper at the store while this is going on in my head, I might forget.
I do this pretty much all day every day, especially when I am tired, hungry, or full. The moral of the story is, be sure that I am paying attention if you ask me for something.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
best re-meal ever
I enjoy food so much that I don't have a best ever meal. I, unlike others I know, do not associate food with good memories. The reason that I like food so much is not because it reminds me of great things, it is because it tastes good. I don't have a "one occasion" that I would redo to make great.
Instead, I will discuss the best foods ever. I thought that Kraft macaroni and cheese was one of the best foods until I ate it last night and it was so heavy I wanted to barf at 430 in the morning today. I like brownies but they give me heartburn. Nestle's chocolate chip cookie recipie really can't be beat. I like my mom's meatloaf but Dave doesn't like ground beaf so I don't get to enjoy it much. I also love popcorn in case I haven't discussed this yet.
It has taken me far too long do type this because I am drunk. I will retire and try harder tomorrow. Sorry fans, Amanda
Instead, I will discuss the best foods ever. I thought that Kraft macaroni and cheese was one of the best foods until I ate it last night and it was so heavy I wanted to barf at 430 in the morning today. I like brownies but they give me heartburn. Nestle's chocolate chip cookie recipie really can't be beat. I like my mom's meatloaf but Dave doesn't like ground beaf so I don't get to enjoy it much. I also love popcorn in case I haven't discussed this yet.
It has taken me far too long do type this because I am drunk. I will retire and try harder tomorrow. Sorry fans, Amanda
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Three biggest things
I am going to give this BufBloPoFo thing a shot this year. I didn't participate last year, but it did get me to begin this blog which I haven't been keeping up with as regularly as I would like. Maybe participating will give me the kick in the pants that I need in order to become a more regular blogger. Anyway, here we go....the three biggest things going on in my life in no particular order:
Getting in shape
Finding a career that I can be happy with
Managing finances
I have decided to get myself together this year. Up until I decided to focus on these things, I was happy with my life. I have a great boyfriend, a great dog, and great friends. I live in a nice apartment, I get along with my family, and I have steady income. I realized though, that by just floating along without any concrete goals, I am not really living for anything.
I have been wanting to get in shape for some time, but I have a better reason for it now. Previously, the reason for getting in shape had been to look and feel better. My reasons have changed. My grandmother passed away earlier this year, and watching the whole thing happen was scary. I remember her diet before the decline started. She ate twinkies, cookies, candy, jelly beans, gum drops, licorice, and anything else that was at least 80% sugar, nothing else. She didn't take care of herself and I believe that that is what caused her to slip in and out of reality so much. The thought of going crazy scares the shit out of me. So does the thought of dying before my kids are grown. I work with a girl who lost her brother at 40 due to a heart attack and her sister just had a stroke. Don't get me wrong, I still want to look good, but I also want to avoid the death and craziness for as long as possible.
If you have ever read my blog before then you know that my job satisfaction is usually non-existant. I have been dealing with it for several years and I could do it forever, I just don't really want to. I like the thought of teaching for a few reasons, it is the only part of my job that I like, I want to work when I have kids but I want to be home with them, and I really like the idea of summers off. I have been putting this off for a while, but I think I am ready to take the next step. I will be looking into what I need to do to become a teacher through UB's program.
Managing finances I still don't have a solution for. I have no money and a lot that I want to do. I want a house, I want to get married, I want a car, I want a kid, I want furniture that doesn't fall apart, and I want my credit cards paid off. All of these things take money that I don't have right now. I am slowly coming to realize that even though I can't do it now, patience will get me there. I will have all of these things someday. My financial management plan is this....wait.
Getting in shape
Finding a career that I can be happy with
Managing finances
I have decided to get myself together this year. Up until I decided to focus on these things, I was happy with my life. I have a great boyfriend, a great dog, and great friends. I live in a nice apartment, I get along with my family, and I have steady income. I realized though, that by just floating along without any concrete goals, I am not really living for anything.
I have been wanting to get in shape for some time, but I have a better reason for it now. Previously, the reason for getting in shape had been to look and feel better. My reasons have changed. My grandmother passed away earlier this year, and watching the whole thing happen was scary. I remember her diet before the decline started. She ate twinkies, cookies, candy, jelly beans, gum drops, licorice, and anything else that was at least 80% sugar, nothing else. She didn't take care of herself and I believe that that is what caused her to slip in and out of reality so much. The thought of going crazy scares the shit out of me. So does the thought of dying before my kids are grown. I work with a girl who lost her brother at 40 due to a heart attack and her sister just had a stroke. Don't get me wrong, I still want to look good, but I also want to avoid the death and craziness for as long as possible.
If you have ever read my blog before then you know that my job satisfaction is usually non-existant. I have been dealing with it for several years and I could do it forever, I just don't really want to. I like the thought of teaching for a few reasons, it is the only part of my job that I like, I want to work when I have kids but I want to be home with them, and I really like the idea of summers off. I have been putting this off for a while, but I think I am ready to take the next step. I will be looking into what I need to do to become a teacher through UB's program.
Managing finances I still don't have a solution for. I have no money and a lot that I want to do. I want a house, I want to get married, I want a car, I want a kid, I want furniture that doesn't fall apart, and I want my credit cards paid off. All of these things take money that I don't have right now. I am slowly coming to realize that even though I can't do it now, patience will get me there. I will have all of these things someday. My financial management plan is this....wait.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Happy New Year
Last year ended on a strong note. Three Christmas celebrations, two weddings, and one day off. I got to spend time with people that I was missing, people that I didn't know that I was missing, and people that are close to me here. I ate too much good food and drank too many good drinks. Dave passed the BAR exam and I made some goals for the new year.
The old stand by, I am going to get fit. Sure, I want to lose a bunch of weight, wear a size 4 and turn heads, but more than that, I hate the way I feel right now. As I type, I am watching the Food network on which there is a pizza made of crust, hamburger, sausage, pepperoni, ham, bacon, and cheese. Why do you think we have an obesity problem in the United States? I haven't eaten a vegetable today aside from the shredded lettuce that came with my flautas at dinner.
I am in the market for a new hobby. I have nobody to pole dance with anymore because my classmate moved out of Buffalo and it just isn't fun alone since my hands are too sweaty to grip the pole anyway. I am interested in Kickboxing (expensive), running (it is winter in Buffalo and I hate the cold), and/or some kind of classes just to get my mind back into shape. I think that my brain is so used to doing the same thing all of the time that it has gotten as mushy as the rest of me. I am open to suggestions.
The old stand by, I am going to get fit. Sure, I want to lose a bunch of weight, wear a size 4 and turn heads, but more than that, I hate the way I feel right now. As I type, I am watching the Food network on which there is a pizza made of crust, hamburger, sausage, pepperoni, ham, bacon, and cheese. Why do you think we have an obesity problem in the United States? I haven't eaten a vegetable today aside from the shredded lettuce that came with my flautas at dinner.
I am in the market for a new hobby. I have nobody to pole dance with anymore because my classmate moved out of Buffalo and it just isn't fun alone since my hands are too sweaty to grip the pole anyway. I am interested in Kickboxing (expensive), running (it is winter in Buffalo and I hate the cold), and/or some kind of classes just to get my mind back into shape. I think that my brain is so used to doing the same thing all of the time that it has gotten as mushy as the rest of me. I am open to suggestions.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Things are looking up
The show is over. The best thing that I got out of it was meeting some people that could become friends. Some were in the show with me, some were not. I feel like I am getting back to my roots in a way. I grew up on stage and with theater people. While it is true that I dropped my theater major because I didn't like the actors, they were interested in more of a Hollywood main stream audience. Don't get me wrong, if someone said that they wanted me to be the next 90210 star, I would be all over it. However, that is not why I like theater. I like being on stage with everyone clapping for me, I like the goofiness that playing a character brings out in me, and I like being around people who don't think I am (too) weird for knowing every word to a variety of musicals. I am most comfortable in this setting even though it has been so long. I am glad to be making new friends.
I am out of the race. I think I broke my foot. I went for a run on Monday and pushed myself too hard. On Tuesday, my hip hurt and on Wednesday morning I was good. Then, while walking in the parking lot at work, my foot started to hurt and it has hurt ever since. It got worse over the weekend after strike, and I was miserable all day at work today because of it. I made an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow but now it is starting to feel better. I am not going to call off the appointment yet, we'll see how the morning goes tomorrow. I didn't think I was going to be able to run the whole thing, but I am disappointed that I am not even going to try.
In other news...I get a haircut this week, I have a vacation coming up, Alex's play was very funny, Hillary got a job, T&K have a little A (congrats), work is getting better, I want to read more, I am going to Chautauqua this weekend, and I am very sleepy. Good night!
I am out of the race. I think I broke my foot. I went for a run on Monday and pushed myself too hard. On Tuesday, my hip hurt and on Wednesday morning I was good. Then, while walking in the parking lot at work, my foot started to hurt and it has hurt ever since. It got worse over the weekend after strike, and I was miserable all day at work today because of it. I made an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow but now it is starting to feel better. I am not going to call off the appointment yet, we'll see how the morning goes tomorrow. I didn't think I was going to be able to run the whole thing, but I am disappointed that I am not even going to try.
In other news...I get a haircut this week, I have a vacation coming up, Alex's play was very funny, Hillary got a job, T&K have a little A (congrats), work is getting better, I want to read more, I am going to Chautauqua this weekend, and I am very sleepy. Good night!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
WORK
The job is getting better. My boss was off this week and I was able to do my work without him interfering. I earned a lot of points with some of the people that work for me by buying them donuts and washing cars. The 2 people that have made my transition most difficult have put in their 2 weeks notice. I have hired some really great new people and am almost happy there now.
HALF MARATHON
I am still training for this race. It takes place in Boston on October 12th. I am supposed to be running 2 short runs (4 miles) per week and 1 long run (6 miles) per week. I have been busy with work and the play which has made it difficult to get out more than 2x/week. Also I have been getting blisters which make the decision to go out and run difficult. Just this morning I read about some prevention tips, but I don't know if it is ok to run on the blisters that I have.
While training the other day, I was nearing a very busy intersection when I heard a *boom* and looked up to see a guy getting out of his almost still moving car, a woman screaming in the middle of the road, and a guy on the ground next to her. My theory is that the driver tried to beat the oncoming traffic and made his left-hand turn as soon as the light turned green. He hit the guy in the crosswalk who had a "walk" sign. I kept on running because there was nothing I could do. Many people were reporting the accident, there was already a crowd around the guy in the road, and I only think I know what happened. Anyway, when I came back to that spot later everyone had gone. What did I learn? Look both ways before you cross the street.
THE PLAY
I am stage managing a show. While it was disappointing to not be in the cast, I am getting involved again. I have never really stage managed before. It is less fun than being in the cast because you have to manage people (which, you may remember, is what I do for a living and hate) but I am meeting new people who may allow me to be on stage again someday.
The job is getting better. My boss was off this week and I was able to do my work without him interfering. I earned a lot of points with some of the people that work for me by buying them donuts and washing cars. The 2 people that have made my transition most difficult have put in their 2 weeks notice. I have hired some really great new people and am almost happy there now.
HALF MARATHON
I am still training for this race. It takes place in Boston on October 12th. I am supposed to be running 2 short runs (4 miles) per week and 1 long run (6 miles) per week. I have been busy with work and the play which has made it difficult to get out more than 2x/week. Also I have been getting blisters which make the decision to go out and run difficult. Just this morning I read about some prevention tips, but I don't know if it is ok to run on the blisters that I have.
While training the other day, I was nearing a very busy intersection when I heard a *boom* and looked up to see a guy getting out of his almost still moving car, a woman screaming in the middle of the road, and a guy on the ground next to her. My theory is that the driver tried to beat the oncoming traffic and made his left-hand turn as soon as the light turned green. He hit the guy in the crosswalk who had a "walk" sign. I kept on running because there was nothing I could do. Many people were reporting the accident, there was already a crowd around the guy in the road, and I only think I know what happened. Anyway, when I came back to that spot later everyone had gone. What did I learn? Look both ways before you cross the street.
THE PLAY
I am stage managing a show. While it was disappointing to not be in the cast, I am getting involved again. I have never really stage managed before. It is less fun than being in the cast because you have to manage people (which, you may remember, is what I do for a living and hate) but I am meeting new people who may allow me to be on stage again someday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)